Rough day


Shadows are darker,

when the light shines brighter.

Shadows are darker,

When the light shines brighter.

It’s been a really rough day today so much stuff in the news- gorillas, babies, guns, diminishing atmosphere, Elon Musk tells us we may be in a video game~ that might explain a lot.

Anyway, these days are the hard ones.  I’m a pretty melancholic person anyway, usually preferring to live in the more shall we say darker realm of the emotional spectrum, not too grim but definitely not so outgoing that I’ll be nominated for the cheerleading team anytime soon (not that there’s anything wrong with those that are!).  That being said I don’t want bad things to happen to this world or the beautiful living people or other creatures that abide here.  So when bad things happen like the shooting at UCLA, it gets too internalized and I get overwhelmingly sad and vulnerable that it gets to a point that I am scared I caused the whole thing, because I spilt my coffee the day before.  As illogical as it sounds that’s how my mind sadly plays it all out.  And now the crows aren’t coming to get their dinner so I feel even worst, I love the crows that visit.

I feel bad because I want to be everyone’s friend  (well I do avoid conflict, that has been pointed out numerous times this year but it doesn’t mean I don’t want to be friends usually) and it seems like everyone is at odds with each other, is that possible?   It’s like being the earth and everyone is fighting a war for a piece of you and destroying you while they are fighting.  I know I’m not as important as the earth but she and I may have a lot to talk about after all the fighting is over (please let it be soon), we may actually have a lot in common.

 So how do I fix this, how do I bring peace to the world in my head and maybe a little to the world in the actual world?  

I don’t know, I really don’t.  But I’m open to suggestions.  I love the beauty of the light and the shadows together.  Life wouldn’t be much to look at without them dancing together.

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